#1 Take off shoes.
#2 Get into bed.
#3 Grab a tissue and sloppily rub makeup around face.
#4 Search Gmail for ex-boyfriend’s emails/chats.
#5 Look at photo of ex-boyfriend and his labrador at the beach from an email with the subject line “Wish you were here!”
#6 Full screen photo and apologize to it.
#7 Gchat someone and ask that person if he/she thinks you’re pretty.
#8 Go to kitchen. Grab ladle. Use it to slop pie onto a plate.
#9 Eat pie in bed while watching The Cure videos on YouTube.
#10 Take out contacts.
#11 Look at porn in glasses and night guard.
#13 Say out loud “I’m wonderful. I deserve the best. I’m doing the best I can.”
#14 Change into pajamas.
#15 Play “Super Bass” really loud and dance in fun run tee shirt.
#16 Fall asleep on living room floor.
#17 Throw up.
#18 Text fuck buddy and tell him it’s over.
#19 Take a shower.
#20 Buy tea towels on Amazon.
#22 Visit crush’s Facebook page then list all the reasons you’re better than his girlfriend.
#23 Text fuck buddy that the last email was a joke and ask him to come over.
#24 Fall asleep.
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