A Drunk Lady’s Bedtime Routine
#1 Take off shoes.
#2 Get into bed.
#3 Grab a tissue and sloppily rub makeup around face.
#4 Search Gmail for ex-boyfriend’s emails/chats.
#5 Look at photo of ex-boyfriend and his labrador at the beach from an email with the subject line “Wish you were here!”
#6 Full screen photo and apologize to it.
#7 Gchat someone and ask that person if he/she thinks you’re pretty.
#8 Go to kitchen. Grab ladle. Use it to slop pie onto a plate.
#9 Eat pie in bed while watching The Cure videos on YouTube.
#10 Take out contacts.
#11 Look at porn in glasses and night guard.
#12 Cry.
#13 Say out loud “I’m wonderful. I deserve the best. I’m doing the best I can.”
#14 Change into pajamas.
#15 Play “Super Bass” really loud and dance in fun run tee shirt.
#16 Fall asleep on living room floor.
#17 Throw up.
#18 Text fuck buddy and tell him it’s over.
#19 Take a shower.
#20 Buy tea towels on Amazon.
#21 Hydrate.
#22 Visit crush’s Facebook page then list all the reasons you’re better than his girlfriend.
#23 Text fuck buddy that the last email was a joke and ask him to come over.
#24 Fall asleep.
Notes
-
solidaire likes this
-
jtaylmnop reblogged this from gibblertron and added:
#1 Take off shoes. #2 Get into bed. #3 Grab a tissue and sloppily rub makeup around face. #4 Search Gmail for...
-
zuzus-whiskers likes this
-
d-azzling likes this
-
kylemichaud reblogged this from gibblertron
-
kylemichaud likes this
-
coriinthehaus reblogged this from gibblertron and added:
Yup.
-
murielsweating likes this
-
popquizkid likes this
-
isawthat likes this
-
juliebrister likes this
-
au-gout likes this
-
supremeirony reblogged this from gibblertron
-
joseguillen likes this
-
blackknight7289 reblogged this from gibblertron and added:
Drunk?
-
joselynhughes likes this
-
ohnein likes this
-
lindsaykatai likes this
-
goestoeleven likes this
-
discoviolin reblogged this from gibblertron and added:
Yeop.
-
pinkbunnu likes this
-
therossi likes this
-
ryaneatpixel likes this
-
girlsgonegoldberg likes this
-
jezebelthegreat likes this
-
danforth likes this
-
bmichael likes this
-
thejenneral likes this
-
gibblertron posted this
